eHarmony Guided Communication is a great way to begin if you’ve never done online dating before. They have a step-by-step guide to communicating with your matches so that anyone from outgoing people to shy people learn how to get to know others you’re compatible with.

  1. Read about your matches in their “About Me” sections – Find out if you’re actually interested in your match by browsing their “About Me” section.

  2. Send a First Round of Questions – Send your match a quick bout of five easy-to-answer but informative questions. You’re able to select the questions from a list of questions, so don’t worry if you’re already panicking trying to come up with questions.

  3. Trade your 10 “Must Haves” and 10 “Can’t Stands” – Get to know each other better by exchanging a list of your 10 “Must Haves” in a relationship and “Can’t Stands.” Consider these your deal makers and breakers in a relationship. An example of a "must have" and "can’t stand" would be "humorous" and "rude", respectively.

  4. Second Round of Questions – Send your match three open-ended questions in this last step of eHarmony’s anonymous Guided Communication. Create your own questions, or choose from a list of pre-set questions.

  5. Open Communication – Open communication allows you to talk freely to your match – like instant message or email – but at the same time still remain anonymous. This is the last step in deciding whether you want to pursue this person further, and get ready for that first phone call or date.

If you wish to skip the Guided Communication, you can click Fast Track to request to go straight to open communication. Your match will be given the same option, and if they agree, you both get to skip right to the open communication.


Mark_complete_sm Back_to_course Go to

More eHarmony Tutorials

See all 14 eHarmony tutorials

Did you learn what you wanted to?

Was something in this tutorial missing, confusing, or out of date? Or did it give you all the information you needed, and you just want to say "thanks"? We'd love to hear what you thought!