How to Use eHarmony

This is a site that’s a little bit different than most. Unlike, There is no "search" function, and you rely on to gather matches for you. Some people will try to communicate with you, and you will want to start the communication with others. This tutorial will show you how to communicate with others on the site. To learn more about the Guided Communication process, take a look at our eHarmony Guided Communication tutorial.

eHarmony Home Page

When you sign into eHarmony, you’ll be directed to the homepage. To access it at anytime, click the eHarmony logo in the top left of the header.

Here you’ll be able to quickly view your timeline – a list of events in chronological order, from eHarmony’s blog posts to someone sending you a smile. Click the yellow circles () below to learn about the different features on the eHarmony home page:


Photo Updates and Profile Updates

Here you’ll be able to update your profile and photos to their latest version quickly.



See who has visited your page. Even if they haven’t said anything to you, you’ll be able to see that they’ve been on your page.



See who has sent you questions or smiles, so that you can easily reply to your updates.



Shows you every update and message in chronological order. This will also include eHarmony’s blog postings, which are great reads for tips and advice in online dating.

Communicating with your Matches

To see your list of matches, click Matches at the top header.

Here you’ll be taken to a list of matches that eHarmony has found for you. If you want to see which of these matches is communicating with you, select Communicating With to filter your matches.

To go to someone’s profile, click their profile picture. Click the yellow circles () below to learn more about the profile page:


More Info

Click here to read about the person's interests, skills, and more.



If you’re too shy to start with sending five quick questions, you can always just send a Smile and see what happens!


Message Status

If this icon is yellow and jumping up and down, it means they have a message for you; if it’s yellow but motionless, it means they haven’t messaged you yet, so it’s up to you to send them one!



Click this to see more of their photos. Note: You can only see a user’s photos if you have a paid subscription.


Block Match

If you’re not interested, you can block this match, and it will be kept under your "Hidden Matches" section.

See our eHarmony Matching tutorial for a more throrough explanation of this.


Previous/Next Match

If you’re browsing through all your new matches, clicking on these two buttons is an easier way to look at each one without always going back to your Matches tab and finding the next match to learn about.

If you’re trying to communicate with someone who has already started the communication, click the Message Status button (i.e. the jumping envelope icon) and see what he or she has to say. Click on your responses, or click the text boxes and then type in what you want to say.  When you’re done, click Next to send the message back to your match.

If you’re trying to communicate with someone who hasn’t yet communicated with you, you click the Message Status button too (i.e. the motionless envelope icon). You’ll be given six multiple-choice questions – choose five by clicking on the check boxes next to each of them to mark or unmark them. When you’re done click Send Questions

Also notice at the top is your progress in eHarmony’s Guided Communication – it shows you how far along you are in their process for each person.

And that's a quick tutorial of how to communicate with your matches on eHarmony!


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