Communicating on

It's all well and good to look for people whom you might be interested in on  But where do you take things from there?  And what if you want to reach out to someone if they've expressed interest in you?

Most of the communication features on require a paid subscription.  (See our How Much does Cost and How to Change or Cancel a Subscription articles for information on choosing and changing your subscription.)  Once you have one, though, read on to find out how to make a connection!


Emails are probably the most important form of communication on You can find the link to email someone while viewing your matches...

... or while viewing someone's profile during a search.

Click it to start an email to the person.

You will be taken to the email composition screen, like the one below.  Click the yellow circle buttons () in the screenshot below to learn what you can (or should) do at each point.


Recipient's Information

This shows you a bit of information about the person you're sending the email to, in case you need some inspiration as to what to talk about.


Information Category Selector

Click here and select an option from the drop-down menu to change what kind of information you see about the recipient, from what they say about themselves to their hobbies and sports interests.


Get Tips

If you're totally stuck as for what to write, click here for a helpful list of "dos and don'ts" when it comes to writing a dating email to someone.



Click in this box and type in what you want the subject of your email to be.



Click in this box and type in what you want to say to the email recipient.


Save as Draft

Click here if you're not quite finished your email and want to come back to it later for some edits or final touches.


Send Now

When your email looks the way you want it to, click this to send it off to your recipient.  Cross your fingers and hope they write back!

Chat / Instant Messaging

Don't feel like waiting around for a reply to an email?  Make your connection right now by chatting with someone who's currently online!

The easiest way to find someone to chat with is to click Chat in the upper-right corner.

This will open a new sidebar that shows you who in your area is available to chat right now.  Move your mouse cursor over the picture of the person whom you wish to chat with to open a pop-up box with more information about them, and then click Chat Now to open the chat window.

Also, if someone who shows up in a search that you do is available to chat, it will say so in their profile thumbnail.  Click IM Now to open the chat window.

Once you have the chat window open, click in the box that says "Enter Text...", type in what you want to say, and then press the "Enter" key on your keyboard.

When you're done chatting with that person, click the "X" button to close the chat window.


Are you the shy type?  Just can't figure out what would be the best way to approach that person you like?  Or maybe you just want them to take the lead?  Try a "wink" to let them know you're really interested in them, without having to say a single word!  Best of all, you don't even need a paid membership to use this feature!

Whenever you're viewing someone's quick profile or full profile, just click Wink For Free.  That's all there is to it!

The recipient will be notified that you gave them a "wink".  If they like you, too, they might send a "wink" back, or even send you an email or start a chat with you.  You'll never know unless you try!


Well, those are the basic ways that you can communicate with someone over!  Here's hoping that you can use at least one of them to get some chemistry going with someone!


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