While you'll want to be doing your best to keep your profile looking spiffy in order to keep the interest of potential matches coming, you shouldn't neglect the more technical workings of your account.  In this tutorial, we'll show you how to change the basic ways in which your account functions.

How to Access your Settings

Go to and log in (if you haven't already).  Click the gear icon () in the menu across the top, and then select Settings from the drop-down menu.

You'll be taken to a screen that looks like the one below.  Click on the name of a settings category (in either place highlighted in red boxes in the screenshot below) to access more options concerning that setting, or click Account Settings to go back to this screen from any settings page.

Settings Categories

Auto Sign-In

This lets you decide whether or not you want to remember your email address and password so that you can log in as soon as you arrive at the website.  If you often log into from a computer that other people use, such as a public or family computer, you may want to turn this function off, in order to keep them from viewing or tampering with your account.

Just click the button next to "On" or "Off", and then click Go.  That's all there is to it!


If someone on keeps contacting you, but you just aren't interested in them (and, presumably, you've told them this), you can block them from contacting you further in any way on  No emails, no instant messages, no winks, and no secure phone calls.

Click the box next to "User Name" under "Member Block" and type in the user name of the person you wish to block.  Then click Block.

Blocked users will be added to a list, highlighted in the screenshot below (the one that says "Your block list is empty").  If you want to let someone contact you again, or you block them by accident, click their user name as it appears in this list, and then click UnBlock.

Change/Cancel Membership considers this a sensitive action, so you'll have to re-enter your password.  Click in the box beside "Password" and type in your password (it will appear as little bullet points to protect it from prying eyes) and then click Continue Cancellation.

You will now be given a choice of two options.  Click Subscription Status to check or change your paid subscription to, or click Cancel Membership and Remove Profile to cancel your subscription and/or delete your account.  See our tutorials on How to Change a Subscription and How to Delete a Account for more information.

Email Preferences / by Mail

Both of these categories lead to the same page.  They let you change what kinds of emails sends to the email address that you signed up with, and how often it sends them.  Click the yellow circle buttons () in the screenshot below to learn more about your options here.


Email Frequency

Click the button beside the respective option to tell to send you emails "Daily", "3 Times a Week", "Once a Week", or "Do Not Send me by Mail" (if you don't want to send you any emails at all).


Saved Search Emails

If you have saved a search that you have done on, you can choose to receive emails regarding activity from just the people in that search.  Click the check box beside the name of the search to only receive emails notifying you if people found with that search have interacted with you in any way.  If you don't have any saved searches, you can click Edit, and then click Save Custom Search to create a new search to save. 

See our tutorial on Search to learn how to save searches.


Notifications from Interested Members

Click the check boxes beside each option to decide which types of interaction with you by potential matches that you want to send you notifications about via email.


Tips, Events, and Offers

Click the check boxes beside each option to decide which other services from (such as a daily set of matches or an upcoming Stir event that you might like) you want to be notified about via email.


Receiving Email Address

This shows you what email address will send notifications to.  Click Change Email Address to change this.  See the "Sign Up Information" section for more details.


Email Education

Click here to go to a section that will walk you through how to make sure your email service (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo Mail, etc.) doesn't automatically delete emails that you get from



Click here when you're finished making changes.


Instant Messaging (IM)

This setting allows you to change whether or not other people can see if you're available to use's instant messaging service.  You can still use the instant messaging service even if you turn this setting off; it will just look to everybody else like you're logged out, even if you're not.  Therefore, you can turn this setting off when you're in the middle of something and don't want to be disturbed.

Just click the button next to "On" or "Off", and then click Go.  That's all there is to it!

Linked Accounts

This setting allows you to link your account with your account on Facebook or Windows Live (e.g. Hotmail, Messenger, Outlook, etc.), assuming that you have one or the other.  This allows you to sign in to with your user name and password from either of these accounts (which is good as a backup in case you forget your main user name and password!), as well as sign in to automatically if you are currently signed in to either of these accounts.

Simply click the Sign In with Facebook button to link your Facebook account, or click Sign In next to "Windows Live ID" to link your Microsoft / Windows Live account.  Click on the respective text boxes in the window that pops up and type in your user name and password for the service that you chose, and then click Log In or Sign In.


This is where you have told you live, in order to help it find matches close to home.  If you want to change it, click the first box to select from the drop-down menu the country that you live in, and then click in the second box and type in your postal code or ZIP code. 

Depending on which country you selected, the second box may be another drop-down box where you can merely select a city close to where you live.  When you're done, click Continue.


This setting allows you to receive text messages on your mobile phone if someone on sends you an email, wink, or recommendation for a Stir event.  Click the check boxes next to each item to tell whether or not you'd like to receive notifications for it.  Then click the box labelled "Your Mobile Phone Number" and type in your mobile phone number.  Then click Save.

Member Spotlight

This option allows you to ask to display your profile in random places around the website -- as well as's partner websites -- for a couple of weeks at a time.  This means that someone might click on your profile out of sheer curiosity, and find that you might just be who they've been looking for!

If you aren't currently using this feature (or asking to let you use it), click Spotlight Me to have start considering using your profile for this feature.  If you are currently using this feature (or trying to get to let you use it), click Don't Spotlight Me (the "Spotlight Me" button will change to this) to stop using the feature or take yourself out of's consideration of profiles to use for this feature.

Sign Up Information considers this sensitive information, so you'll have to re-enter your password to view it.  When you get to the screen that looks like the one below, click in the box beside "Password" and type in your password (it will show up as little bullet points to keep it safe from prying eyes).  Then click Go.

The next screen will show your basic information that you provided with when you created your account.  If you want to change it, click on Change Sign Up Info.  You'll be taken to the screen below.

Click in each of the boxes in the first highlighted section and select or type in:

  • A new user name

  • A new password

  • Your email address

  • Your gender

  • The gender of matches you are seeking

  • Your date of birth (day/month/year)

  • The country you live in

  • Your mailing code

When you're all finished, click Continue.

Subscription Status

This is where you can view information about the subscription you have, including how much it's costing you, when it starts, and when it ends.  You can also see this information concerning any extra services that you have purchased.

You can click Update, highlighted here, to change your billing (i.e. credit card) information.

You can also click Activate/Deactivate, highlighted here, to enable or disable any additional features that you have on your account.

See our How Much does Cost article and How to Change a Subscription tutorial for more information.


Those are all of the different settings that you can change on!  We hope at least some will be useful to you!


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