What eHarmony is and How to Find True Love Online

Last updated: April 12, 2017 - 4:15pm EDT

For people who are new to the dating scene (or have been out of it for a while), using an online dating service (especially for the first time) can be daunting. What information should I include or exclude on my profile? What photos will make me look good? How will I know if I'm a good match with someone without actually meeting them? What if someone isn't who they say they are?

If you’re sick of the dating game and want to make a real, lasting connection, eHarmony.com may be the website for you. Dr. Neil Clark Warren designed eHarmony to be different from other dating websites, in ways that would take the worry and stress out of dating. It uses proven emotional and psychological science to get at the heart of what you really want out of a relationship, beyond just surface attributes such as physical appearance or interests. This, in turn, gets you more matches with whom you are likely to be emotionally and psychologically compatible, and thus more likely to form long-lasting relationships.

So, what exactly is eHarmony?

eHarmony is an online dating service that uses proven relationship science to find you emotionally and psychologically-compatible matches, as well as guide communication between you and your matches. Available in over 150 countries, eHarmony also studies relationships and gives relationship advice.

How does eHarmony work?

eHarmony finds matches based on scientific research – a way to find someone compatible for you based more than on looks. Your matches will be found based on your answers to the eHarmony questionnaire. This is why their profile questionnaire of nearly 300 questions is so important, and should be answered honestly.

Once you’ve been matched, you’ll be able to send multiple-choice questions to your match (you’ll send five) as a way to get to know them better. Then you’ll move to open-ended questions and, if all goes well, you’ll be able to start emailing each other through the website. It’s up to you and your match how you proceed from there.

4 steps to starting a relationship on eHarmony

1. Sign up for a free account.

Registering for an account is quick, easy, and free! Just enter some quick details about yourself: your first name, your gender, your match gender preference, your mailing code, your country, your email address, and an account password. You can also tell eHarmony where you heard about them, if you like. Then click Find My Matches, and you're off to the races!

eHarmony sign up form

2. Take the eHarmony questionnaire, and explore the inner workings of your relationship needs.

One of their signature features is its relationship questionnaire. Forget questions like what your hair colour is, if you have any pets, or what you like to do on weekends. Questions are meant to probe your emotions, your thoughts, and your values -- the stuff that really shapes your love life. It takes quite a bit of time and effort to finish the questionnaire, but just think how worthwhile it will be if it leads you to find someone with whom you really hit it off!

eHarmony Questionnaire

3. Take the reins and check out the people that you've been matched with.

After completing the questionnaire, they will automatically match you with several people who had similar answers to you. You can view their details, take a look at their photos (if you have a premium subscription), send them a virtual smile, or start communicating with them! You can also block a match if you don't feel like they're the one for you.

eHarmony matches

4. eHarmony guides communication with your matches to set a comfortable pace. Start a conversation!

When you feel that it's time to start communicating with your matches, eHarmony will make sure that it's at a pace that is comfortable with everyone by keeping track of whose turn it is to send a message. Ask one of your matches a few questions about what they want in a relationship, and see how they answer. Then, let them ask you a few questions, and respond as honestly as you can. If the two of you click, and you both have premium subscriptions, you can start sending free-form emails back and forth through its secure internal email system!

Communicate with matches on eHarmony

Is eHarmony Safe?

Yes, eHarmony is safe to use. Because using the site requires users to put in a little time and effort, it deters those who might otherwise create fake profiles. However, be careful how much information you reveal about yourself, and only meet up with someone you meet on eHarmony if you’re sure you can trust them.

When is eHarmony free and how much can it cost?

eHarmony is free to sign up for, and to complete the questionnaire is also free. You can see a small selection of your matches, and message these people if you wish. However, you won’t be able to see your matches’ photos, and the features you can access are limited. The full experience requires a paid membership. To learn more about the costs of eHarmony, have a look at our article on how much eHarmony can cost here.

Pros and cons of eHarmony

Some good things about eHarmony is that it requires users to answer a series of questions to create their account. This will deter those who aren’t as serious about finding their perfect match. Also, since the service asks so many questions, they will have a better chance at finding people who are compatible with you.

On the other hand, some people may find its questionnaire tedious, and would prefer to determine compatibility for themselves. Not to mention, it takes time – so if you’re looking for quick matches, eHarmony isn’t for you. Also, without a paid subscription, the features you can access are quite limited.

eHarmony Competitors

If eHarmony isn’t going to cut it for you, there are lots of other dating websites and apps you can try out instead. One of eHarmony’s biggest competitors is Match.com, which focuses more on things like physical appearance and lifestyle choices. If you’re looking for a great dating site that doesn’t require a paid subscription, OkCupid is a good option as well.  

You can learn about these alternatives and more if you read this article.

 

The rest of our eHarmony course will feature lessons on how to sign up for an account, how to set up your profile, and more. Hopefully, eHarmony will help you find someone with whom you're truly compatible. If you're new to dating, or are just looking to take the gamble out of it, bet on the science of love with eHarmony!

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